by Steven Crimando
Being the bearer of bad news is never pleasant. Whether it is delivering the message at work or at home, finding the right way to share bad news can be tricky. It is known that how bad news is shared can greatly affect the emotional and behavioral response of those on the receiving end. Studies around the delivery of extremely bad news, like death notifications for example, demonstrate that the way the message is delivered influences both short- and long-term reactions and recovery.
In this week’s Behavioral Risk Bulletin we would like to offer some guidance in breaking bad news. These general recommendations can be applied to situations as diverse as discussing sudden and necessary changes in college plans with a son or daughter, recalibrating retirement plans with a spouse or partner or informing employees of downsizing and layoffs. What we say and how we say it can have a significant and lasting impact on the recipient. After all, you may be delivering truly life-changing news. Doing it well is important.
The 5 T’s of Breaking Bad News
The nature of human response to a crisis or disaster is both phase-specific and hazard- specific. How we react to a threat, real or perceived, varies from hour- one to day-one to week-one and so on along the time line of the event. Likewise, how we react to a hurricane is different than a disease outbreak and different yet than an economic crisis that may too threaten our security and survival.
The 5 T’s provide a structure for developing and delivering your message. Integrating these ideas into your approach to sharing information about difficult or dangerous situations can help mitigate the adverse and unintended consequences of your task.
Take One Step at a Time
The 5 T’s approach can be useful in structuring the content and delivery of bad news. Each of the T’s is presented in a specific sequence and addressing each item in the recommended order will inform your decisions about the next.
The 5 T’s are:
1. Target
2. Timing
3. Type
4. Tone
5. Text
When delivering bad news some of us just want to get right to the point. But style is important in breaking bad news. The very last consideration should be “what” you will say. The “what” is referred to as the “text” in this model. Before racing ahead to what you will say, you are encouraged to step back and address the first four T’s.
Target
Target refers to “who” will be receiving the news. Is it an employee, a child, a spouse or a stockholder? Obviously each audience requires a different approach. It may be necessary to adjust language to be age-appropriate for children; key stakeholders may demand technical details; employees at various levels all may require different messages delivered in different ways. In fact, with any bad news scenario, it may be necessary to develop several versions of the core message, each intended for a different target.
Timing
Timing is about “when” the news will be delivered. The time of day, week, month and year may be significant, but it may be unavoidable that the news must be shared soon, if not right away. When it is possible, consideration should be given to timing. Combining these elements, the target or “who” helps inform decisions about “when” since each audience may receive the news on a slightly different time table.
Type
In this context, “type” means “how” or by what mechanism the bad news will be delivered. It is always preferable, but not always possible to deliver bad news in person. Telephone, e-mail and other forms of communication may be options for some but not all “targets.” Addressing the “target” and “timing” questions can help you decide the best way to share the news. The more personal the relationship, the more personal the delivery should be. With close colleagues, family and friends bad news should always be shared face-to-face. With larger and more removed audiences, other means of communication may be appropriate, but still special attention should be given to make those messages as personal as possible. No one likes to get a form letter or the feeling of being just another account number when speaking to a telephone service rep. Even in written and electronic communications, it is important to project empathy to the recipient of bad news.
Tone
Using a business-like tone at home can be perceived as cold, impersonal and distant. Being too casual or familiar with employees or stakeholders can seem unprofessional. Striking the right tone is important. One of the key concepts in determining tone is “congruence.” The tone of your message must be congruent, matching the other elements of your message in support of your delivery. In high-stress or high-fear situations, people become more reliant on non-verbal communications, therefore, para-verabal communication elements, such as tone, rate of speech and volume become increasingly important. Tone is determined by the previous T’s: who is getting the message, when they will get it and how it will be delivered. Tone must also work in concert with the “text.”
Text
The last crucial aspect of delivering bad news is developing the actual message, referred to here as the “text.” It is important to find the right balance between language that is accurate, informative and straight forward, but not so complicated or detailed as to overwhelm or so simplified that it is condescending. If you work through the 5 T’s in sequence, the text of your message may become more apparent and natural. As with other elements discussed above, the wording of your message will require adjustment for different audiences as well.
Don’t Go It Alone
The more serious the news, the more helpful it can be to have a partner available to back you up. Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) has developed structured guidelines for breaking extremely bad news, such as the death of a loved one. While most of us will never be in such a difficult and stressful position, some of the recommendations developed by MADD can be useful in delivering other less traumatic news. The National Center for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (NCPTSD) has published these recommendations online. Having a partner along to help you deliver bad news and having expert advice such as that offered by MADD can help prepare you in the event that you must be the bearer of a tragic or powerful message.
Click here to read the MADD/NCPTSD notification guidelines.
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Steven M. Crimando, MA, BCETS, is a noted author, consultant and trainer to governmental agencies, NGOs and multinational corporations. He is the Managing Director of Extreme Behavioral Risk Management (“XBRM”), a consultancy focused on the human factor in disaster recovery, business continuity and homeland security. XBRM is a division of ALLSector Technology Group, Inc., a New York based full service technology consulting company offering systems integration, managed services and applications development and implementation. ALLSector Technology Group, Inc. is a subsidiary of the F∙E∙G∙S Health and Human Services System, one of the nation’s largest and most diversified not for profit organizations.
